Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
