Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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