the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
