OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
