Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
