i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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