Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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