It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
literally had 100 drinks last night.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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