What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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