i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
