I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
