Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
