I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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