We won't sleep together?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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