There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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