Betty ford says i'm here all night
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
