More tranny stories later!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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