so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
