I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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