you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
