so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
