well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
