God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
