How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
one two three fourrrrnication!
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
