I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
