you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
