Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
In other news, I just burned my penis
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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