Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
