accomplished twins. life is a go
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
