those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
