idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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