i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
