The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
