one might say we're banned from that church
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Girls should come with a carfax report
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
