I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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