he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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