you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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