Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She told me I should be a condom model.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
