My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
