This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
