listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My breasts were aching with rage.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
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