I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
