I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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