we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
