in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
