I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
two words: eviction party
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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