I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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