Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
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