If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
