i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
