dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
